Jul 5, 2009 20:52
14 yrs ago
English term
any improvements on the sentence?
English
Art/Literary
Art, Arts & Crafts, Painting
"Once a viewer gets tuned into vibrations and energy flow emanating from the painting, he or she will receive sudden strokes of hitherto unknown ideas".
It is a description of a painting which, apart from its artistic merits, creates an an energetically charged space, brings about dramatic changes in its owner's life, bla-bla-bla.
Any suggestions and comments are welcome.
Thank you!
It is a description of a painting which, apart from its artistic merits, creates an an energetically charged space, brings about dramatic changes in its owner's life, bla-bla-bla.
Any suggestions and comments are welcome.
Thank you!
Responses
| 3 +5 | a stab |
Helen Shiner
|
| 3 +2 | suggestion below |
Mark Nathan
|
| 4 | "..will receive a flow of..." |
eski
|
Responses
+5
58 mins
Helen Shiner
United Kingdom
United Kingdom
Native in English
&
English
Specializes in field
United Kingdom
Arts/Academic translator - Art historian
Native in: English
Works in: German to English, French to English
Related KudoZ points
:
4
Selected
a stab
Though without the source text, this is really a stab in the dark!
Once viewers tune into the vibrations and energy emanating from the painting, ideas hitherto unknown will flash before them/will occur to them/will spring to mind.
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Note added at 1 day12 hrs (2009-07-07 09:18:43 GMT) Post-grading
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Thanks for the points, martsina
Once viewers tune into the vibrations and energy emanating from the painting, ideas hitherto unknown will flash before them/will occur to them/will spring to mind.
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Note added at 1 day12 hrs (2009-07-07 09:18:43 GMT) Post-grading
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Thanks for the points, martsina
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
John Fenz
: elegant. You should receive extra points for mind-reading ;-)
1 hr
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Thanks, John - though might have read the wrong mind, of course!!
|
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| agree |
Trudy Peters
: Nice!
3 hrs
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Thanks, Trudy
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| agree |
Suzan Hamer
: And with John about the mind reading, for the first clause at least. I would change the second part to read something like "they will experience a flow of new ideas."
10 hrs
|
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Thanks, Suzan - yes, the second part is difficult, so little to go on.
|
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| agree |
Tina Vonhof (X)
: and with Suzan's suggestion.
18 hrs
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Thanks, Tina - or sudden influx of new ideas
|
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| agree |
Gary D
3 days 10 hrs
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Thanks, Gary
|
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Thanks a lot, Helen!"
+2
10 mins
suggestion below
When the viewer becomes tuned into the vibrations and energy emanating from the painting, glimpses of previously unknown ideas are suddenly revealed.
Note from asker:
| Thanks, Mark. |
1 day 5 hrs
"..will receive a flow of..."
The Flow of Ideas advances critical thought on education, information, ... of managing and exploiting knowledge and information on a scale hitherto unknown. ...
www.flowideas.co.uk/?page=articles&sub... - En caché - Similares
www.flowideas.co.uk/?page=articles&sub... - En caché - Similares
Note from asker:
| Thank you! |
Discussion
The problem is there is no source text. It was written in English by a non-native speaker, and my feelings were especially bad exactly about the part Kim mentioned.