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“我控诉”两个版本的选择 (Translating the words of Emile Zola)
Thread poster: chance (X)
chance (X)
chance (X)
French to Chinese
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Oct 17, 2006

我正在翻译的一篇稿中引用了左拉“我控诉”中的一句名言,网上查到繁体版和简体版,虽然意思是一样的,但还是想听听诸位的意见,哪个版本更好?谢谢!

"Je n'ai qu'une passion, celle de la lumière, au nom de l'humanité qui a tant souffert et qui a droit au bonheur", (Emile Zola, extrait de 'J'accuse', lettre ouverte parue le 13 janvier 1898 dans "l'Aurore").

我只有一個目的:以人類的名義讓陽光普照在飽受折磨的人身上,人們有權享有幸福。

我只有一个目的,以人类的名义,让阳光普照在备受折磨者身上,人们有权得到幸福。

[Edited at 2006-10-17 14:14]

[标题已经过网站人员或版主的修改 2006-10-21 18:53]


 
pkchan
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English to Chinese
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按愚見 Oct 17, 2006

chance wrote:

我正在翻译的一篇稿中引用了左拉“我控诉”中的一句名言,网上查到繁体版和简体版,虽然意思是一样的,但还是想听听诸位的意见,哪个版本更好?谢谢!

"Je n'ai qu'une passion, celle de la lumière, au nom de l'humanité qui a tant souffert et qui a droit au bonheur", (Emile Zola, extrait de 'J'accuse', lettre ouverte parue le 13 janvier 1898 dans "l'Aurore").

我只有一個目的:以人類的名義讓陽光普照在飽受折磨的人身上,人們有權享有幸福。

我只有一个目的,以人类的名义,让阳光普照在备受折磨者身上,人们有权得到幸福。

[Edited at 2006-10-17 14:14]


繁體字版不是『順眼』,而是『順耳』點。『飽受折磨』比『备受折磨』好。『享有幸福』比『得到幸福』好。但我不懂法文,不能從『翻譯』的角度去看,只能從『中國語文』作出發點。


 
chance (X)
chance (X)
French to Chinese
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TOPIC STARTER
谢谢!我就是想看看大家觉得哪个中文好,可以不考虑“翻译”。 Oct 17, 2006

pkchan wrote:

chance wrote:

我正在翻译的一篇稿中引用了左拉“我控诉”中的一句名言,网上查到繁体版和简体版,虽然意思是一样的,但还是想听听诸位的意见,哪个版本更好?谢谢!

"Je n'ai qu'une passion, celle de la lumière, au nom de l'humanité qui a tant souffert et qui a droit au bonheur", (Emile Zola, extrait de 'J'accuse', lettre ouverte parue le 13 janvier 1898 dans "l'Aurore").

我只有一個目的:以人類的名義讓陽光普照在飽受折磨的人身上,人們有權享有幸福。

我只有一个目的,以人类的名义,让阳光普照在备受折磨者身上,人们有权得到幸福。

[Edited at 2006-10-17 14:14]


繁體字版不是『順眼』,而是『順耳』點。『飽受折磨』比『备受折磨』好。『享有幸福』比『得到幸福』好。但我不懂法文,不能從『翻譯』的角度去看,只能從『中國語文』作出發點。


 
wherestip
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English Translation Oct 17, 2006

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Emile_Zola

chance,

The English translation in this link seems to be a lot more expressive than either of the Chinese translations. What do you think?


 
wherestip
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头一句 Oct 17, 2006

我觉得 Je n'ai qu'une passion 应翻为 "我只有一个热望"

 
Chinoise
Chinoise  Identity Verified
Local time: 13:42
English to Chinese
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有关"passion" Oct 17, 2006

简繁两版对“Je n'ai qu'une passion”的翻译都是“我只有一个目的”,这让俺比较困惑,因为“passion”这个词无论在英语还是法语里都不含“目的”的意思。

chance wrote:

我正在翻译的一篇稿中引用了左拉“我控诉”中的一句名言,网上查到繁体版和简体版,虽然意思是一样的,但还是想听听诸位的意见,哪个版本更好?谢谢!

"Je n'ai qu'une passion, celle de la lumière, au nom de l'humanité qui a tant souffert et qui a droit au bonheur", (Emile Zola, extrait de 'J'accuse', lettre ouverte parue le 13 janvier 1898 dans "l'Aurore").

我只有一個目的:以人類的名義讓陽光普照在飽受折磨的人身上,人們有權享有幸福。

我只有一个目的,以人类的名义,让阳光普照在备受折磨者身上,人们有权得到幸福。

[Edited at 2006-10-17 14:14]


 
chance (X)
chance (X)
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TOPIC STARTER
英文版的我就更不敢评论了! Oct 17, 2006

只是感觉两个中文版如此接近,估计一个版参考了先译出的另一个版本。我觉得把“passion"翻成“目的”好象不太忠实,但一下也想不出更好的,也许是受了现有版本的影响。

我的想法是直接引用已有的译文,也就是获公认的。当然,如果这里的同僚希望进一步探讨也不是坏事。

wherestip wrote:

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Emile_Zola

chance,

The English translation in this link seems to be a lot more expressive than either of the Chinese translations. What do you think?


 
chance (X)
chance (X)
French to Chinese
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TOPIC STARTER
贴出对“PASSION“的看法后,才发现你们也有类似看法 Oct 17, 2006

看来我的感觉不算太离题

Wherestip 的“我只有一个热望”比较接近原文。


 
chance (X)
chance (X)
French to Chinese
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TOPIC STARTER
新问题来了 Oct 17, 2006

如果你们有更好的建议,我就按大家的建议,不按已有的译文?

 
chance (X)
chance (X)
French to Chinese
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TOPIC STARTER
这样也行 Oct 17, 2006

大家多提好的修改意见,我综合整理后就用“PROZ"中文论坛译版,怎么样?

 
wherestip
wherestip  Identity Verified
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Local time: 11:42
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I think it's a judgment call Oct 17, 2006

chance wrote:

如果你们有更好的建议,我就按大家的建议,不按已有的译文?



It's very hard to say. Literally translating the English version from that link I found, you get something like this:

我只有一个热望: 以受尽痛苦、有权享受幸福的人类的名义, 让那些被黑暗蒙蔽的人看到光明 ......

My Chinese rendition might need some improvement. But that's not the point. I'm not sure why the Chinese translated from the English is so much different than the one directly translated from French.

Either the French to Chinese translation was a poor job, or the French to English translation added a lot more to the original. I think you're the only one here qualified enough to tell.


 
Chinoise
Chinoise  Identity Verified
Local time: 13:42
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另外, 我觉得: Oct 17, 2006

“a droit au bonheur”:“有权享有幸福”比“有权得到幸福”更贴切, 因为“avoir droit à qch ”含“(享)有... 的权利”之意。(请参照《法汉大词典》第1159页之译例)。所以,从总体上说,繁体版略好于简体版。

 
wherestip
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Apologies to Betty and icg, et al Oct 17, 2006

wherestip wrote:

I think you're the only one here qualified enough to tell.



I'm sorry. I forgot there are many more here who understand French. Just because I don't doesn't mean others don't.


 
Chinoise
Chinoise  Identity Verified
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English to Chinese
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That's untrue:-) Oct 17, 2006

In many contexts, these two languages share the same spelling. In that sense, we can say everyone is bilingual in English and French. You are certainly one of them.

wherestip wrote:

wherestip wrote:

I think you're the only one here qualified enough to tell.



I'm sorry. I forgot there are many more here who understand French. Just because I don't doesn't mean others don't.


 
chance (X)
chance (X)
French to Chinese
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TOPIC STARTER
根据诸位以上建议,我匆匆来个直译 Oct 17, 2006

仅供想了解法语原文的同僚参考,以便继续讨论:

Je n'ai qu'une passion, celle de la lumière, au nom de l'humanité qui a tant souffert et qui a droit au bonheur.

我只有一个热望,追求光明的热望,以那些受尽痛苦、有权享受幸福的人类名义, 热望追求光明 。

按我的看法,英文版加多了一点儿。


[Edited at 2006-10-17 15:47]


 
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“我控诉”两个版本的选择 (Translating the words of Emile Zola)






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